Change or Die

Guidance for Letting Go After Being Laid Off

Every person who gets laid off should be assigned a doula to help with the subsequent transition phase. We could give the doulas a creative but professional name like “Professional Rebirth Coaches” or “Employment Transition Midwives.” Whatever the name, we need them because no one prepares you for the layered and emotional psychological transition you experience starting the moment you get laid off. I suspect this transition will carve an even deeper groove than usual among those of us fired in the unprecedented mass firings in the federal space, especially among those in my former industry, public health.

One month after my layoff, it’s become clear to me that the most difficult and, subsequently, most consequential part of managing this transition is letting go. I’m not saying everyone has to let go of their career in public health like I have decided. But each one who gets laid off has something or some things to let go of to free ourselves to go on and accomplish the next part of our career. This can still be public health, the position you do it from might look vastly different.

Here are some of the things I had to let go of:

• The belief I would find a job exactly like the one I had.

• Any notion I would find a job in the public health federal contracting space.

• My ego, which was wrapped up in the brand I’d built for myself as a public health professional for over 15 years.

No, I do not bring wisdom from the other side about getting another job. Instead, for a moment, I assume the role of “Change Embrace Doula” to impart some guidance to help ease the sneaky, shocking, and unexpected pains you are experiencing.

1. Let the World Fall Away for Some Time.

For as much time as you can, let the world fall away. A week is a nice round number. I took three weeks (I acknowledge my privilege in being able to take 3 weeks). Let the news, social media, LinkedIn chaos, and all of it fall away. Change your setting and go visit a friend in another city or your parents who still live in the small town where you grew up.

Use this time to feel your feelings, enjoy nature, do your favorite things unencumbered by work, and just be. Being in a different place inherently brings different energy and perspective. Importantly, the time and space away will allow you to experience and process the emotions a layoff surfaces. Eventually, with time and space, you will process. The processing will free you so those emotions don’t flare up during job hunting, resume writing, or when interviewing for a job.

2. Seek Out Experts in Letting Go

After feeling my feelings, I booked five back-to-back sessions with a career coach and a therapist. Through my previous employer, I had access to 10 free sessions, each with a coach and a therapist, through the Spring Health platform. (Layoff Hack: Upon getting laid off, book any free career support, mental health, or other related services your benefits offer.)

I engaged in five days of intense unearthing of my desires, fears, and aspirations that peeled back the layers until I saw my core self. The result of seeing my core self (a shock in itself) was that I suddenly had a north star to guide my subsequent planning and decision-making.

In another piece, I’ll unpack the process and specific accomplishments in these sessions more deeply, but some of the more revelatory moments included:

• Recognizing and accepting that I was comfortable with the discomfort of the familiar but was fearful of the discomfort of the new.

• Seeing my core self in a journey, facilitated through an exercise where I envisioned my 72-year-old self and the events that led to that future contented self.

• Exploring what letting go would look like for me and what would change if I let go.

I had not planned on booking these sessions back to back, it’s just how it worked out. But looking back, I’m glad I stacked them. I also realized that alternating was key. The coaching sessions were more action-oriented, with assigned homework, and served to move me forward. The subsequent therapy served for processing all of the ideas and forward motion along with the associated feelings. Together, my personal dynamic duo helped me fast-track this phase of my processing, helping me to accept change, let go, and launch myself into transformation.

3. Make AI a Collaborative Sounding Board

If you only use AI for resumes and cover letters, then you are doing the least! The expansive information, empathetic objectivity, and ability to engage you in critical thinking make AI an invaluable and indefatigable partner. I rely on Claude.ai these days, but I am also a fan of Google Gemini. Whichever you choose, engage AI as a collaborative sparring partner for brainstorming, thinking outside of the box, troubleshooting, and working toward solutions that address your biggest fears related to transitioning to another role or industry.

Some creative ways I used AI are that I:

• Asked it to suggest and rank potential career industries, excluding the public health industry, based on my extensive CV.

• Had it design a personalized re-employment plan with goals, objectives, and KPIs.

• Uploaded my Linkedin contacts (from a .csv file you can request in your profile) and asked it to identify and rank the top five people in non-public health industries I should connect with. (If you’re like me and have over 500 contacts, try uploading about 50 at a time.)

The best part is that as it gets to know it, it builds from what it knows and tailors the responses to sharpen your solutions in ways that will surprise you. Use your imagination!

4. Exit the Echo Chamber of Your LinkedIn Feed!

Speaking from my perspective in the public health field, part of our unique transition process will be accepting that our existing networks will not be as useful as they once were. You may have noticed my prompts to AI were focused on non-public health networks. I cannot overstate the importance of networking IRL, including through your clubs or volunteering, and *gasps in Spanish* with professionals outside of the field.

Going outside of your industry may seem counterintuitive, but it makes sense if you accept that 1) the eliminated jobs won’t return at current levels for some years, if ever, 2) everyone in your network will be applying for the same few remaining jobs, and 3) it is the application of your skill sets you must search against, in lieu of job titles or disease topics. Based on these concessions, it’s clear a professional outside of your industry will bring the most value, nuanced ideas, and objective feedback about how you show up outside of the public health field.

LinkedIn can still be useful. However, focus less on the jobs people are reposting and prioritize connecting with connections who are different from you. Reach out to your graduate school classmate who did the same degree but works at a Fortune 500 company. Awkwardly reconnect with a college classmate who can give perspective on an industry you’ve always been curious about. In the conversation, be curious about them and be vulnerable about yourself. Importantly, this conversation is about engaging in ideation and getting objective feedback, not asking for a job.

Some starter questions or prompts might be:

• What’s it like to work at a Fortune 500 company?

• When you look at my skill set, what types of roles come to mind?

• I’d appreciate you as a sounding board for my new professional branding.

Again, the field is less important than the perspective you’ll gain. I met up with a friend with whom I studied theatre, with whom I hadn’t engaged since I graduated in 2004. She now works as a Change Management Specialist at an architecture firm. Ironically, how she described her main role reiterated what the universe had been screaming at me for a month. Her main role was “to help people adapt to the new space once they moved into it.”

5. Recognize that Letting Go is the Hardest Part, with the Biggest Reward

If “change is difficult,” then being fired unjustly from a job that fulfilled you feels like a 16-sided Rubik's cube you have been challenged to complete using your mouth. What I’ve discussed here doesn’t get you a new job. It’s some guidance to facilitate the letting-go process, which is vital to getting that new job.

The final assignment by my career coach was centered on letting go. He asked me to respond to the following questions:

• What does letting go look like for me?

• How can I begin the process of letting go?

• Why don’t I want to let go?

• What changes as a result of me letting go.

My responses reeked of fear. Of course, it is a scary moment, and I am allowed to be scared. But, writing down these fears about letting go was like going to confession. I acknowledged them truthfully and laid out each in front of me for examination. Upon examining each fear, I found my mind beginning to create solutions. So, next to each fear, I began writing down the solution and bolded it on the page.

Revisiting what I wrote, my favorite response is the last one, in response to the question, “Why don’t I want to let go?” On the last bullet, in all caps, I wrote: “I DON’T FEEL LIKE DOING THE HARD WORK!”

My response in bold: “It’s all hard work.”

Jack Whitten, USA Oracle (Assassination of M.L. King), 1968. Photocredit: National Portait Gallery.